A Rested Development
I did a thing! I finally painted again yesterday and feel great for it! And today, after a street fashion session with a model, I found a salvaged piano left in public by The Piano Rescuers (@PianoRescueCANBERRA). As the name suggests, they rescue old pianos, tune and re-home the redeemable ones and transform the not so salvageable ones into public street art pieces free to play. I know its not technically my sheet music but I am counting the half hour or so playing on one as practice as I ended up testing to see what I could play by ear. It helped me gauge my memorisation of a couple of pieces I have been playing without the crutch of sheet music on hand. It is in those moments that its easier to remember why I am trying this challenge. It’s good for me. It’s wholesome, educational, and levels up my skills, while being something I enjoy. So hard to hold that in mind when its been a while since you last did a creative task and the couch and new TV shows are calling.
I had a friend comment to me today about my last posts about building habits being like putting one plank of wood in front of the other. His wish is for me to know what’s on the other side. . . (he’s going to read this and then I’m officially busted for talking about him to the internet). For me, I think it’s a good thing I don’t know what’s ahead. For now, at least. I am glad I am being forced to focus on the process, to learn to enjoy the act of creation instead of the results. It’s so easy to look forward and work for the future dream of recognition, accolades, financial stability. It’s also so very easy to look forward from our small attempts now and see that these little steps will never get us there. My painting last night will never get me commissioned to illustrate a children’s book. My street piano session will never lead to me on a stage. Looking at now and looking at the future destination can be a source of discouragement. It can seem impossible to get from here to there.
Journeys are what matter.
If you look at any successful person in the creative industries, you will see someone who still struggles with feeling like they have made it. Visual effects artists who have worked on 15+ recognisable blockbuster movies not thinking that they are much good at their job, painters who have represented Australia at the Venice Biennale still feeling like they are only small fish in the global artist pond. Even those at the very top aren’t alone up there and so are left looking around trying to determine which one of their super extraordinary peers might be millimetres ahead. Or they may look over to another creative pinnacle and think I want to be over there. The truth is no one will ever get to be ‘the best’, only (maybe if you are lucky) the best for now. There is no ‘made it’. One can always find a next step in life until they take their last.
Sometimes not knowing where the summit is, where the pinnacle of the climb is means instead of always looking up, you look at your feet, where you are right now as you trudge your way up the hill. Sure, it means your vision is filled with the path and you might not get early glimpses of the potential view. But you might be able to see that alpine daisy that was growing a meter away from your left foot, or the bird that twittered a song on your way. You can be more present when you are focusing on just enjoying the moment you have in front of you. It then becomes OK to stop and rest sometimes as even the rest is enjoyable. The alternate is to keep looking for the summit and being reminded how far away it still is. Sometimes the goal can seem so big, scary and intimidating it can discourage you from trying. Losing momentum feels like failure. With the last few weeks of not much progress, it has been easy for me to look to the summit of my goals and feel discouraged. It’s harder (and yet better for me) to take a moment to look around my little rest stop and see what can be enjoyed while I have been there. Funnily enough, looking around leads me to see a half concealed new thing to get curious about, one a little further off behind the one I have already explored. And before you know it, I’m walking my way up the path again following new delights.
Focusing on the journey means you might enjoy the small moments (and pauses) available to you with each step. If that is where your enjoyment comes from, the little steps day by day, then one day, the summit might surprise you by just turning up.
THE RUNDOWN
Art – A piece I actually want to count in my hundred! (12/100)
Writing – Novel: 1139 Blog: 15,747
Cooking – Desperately needs to get groceries in the house for even basic meals let alone fancy ones (19/285)
Music – Scored some curious looks while playing piano on the mean streets of Canberra Civic (9/100)
Photography – Model shoot today! Portfolio critique tomorrow. . ..
Craft – New pair of earrings! Discovered I need silver earring hooks for the first time ages, my massive supply has finally dwindled! (13/100)